I’m at a point in my life where I’m searching and determining the things I want. For example, I like house music not techno, dogs not cats, Guinness not Carlsberg, and the list goes on.
Right now, I’m putting up the list of what I look for in a girl not for anyone but for myself. Yeah, it’s actually me getting to know me better. Self improvement kinda thing la.
- Health Conscious
- Well Mannered
- A Good Sense Of Dressing
- Full of Surprises
- Is A Dog Person
- A Good Conversationalist
- Be Willing To Participate
- Makes Me Feel Confident In Her Presence
Experience without education may not be enough. I never knew how different the male and female mind work until I read John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
One fine example is the way guys react under stress. A guy usually withdraws himself and delve into the issue until a solution is found. If a solution is yet to be found, he will take ‘time outs’ and and go out with friends or watch the TV or play games, etc to take time to determine a solution. It allows him to distance himself from the problems to focus on something else. It allows him revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
A girl will find it hard to understand this as they were designed to talk about the issue during stress. There were times during my past relationships where I tried to retreat as she tried to get closer to me. As a result, it leads to conflicts.
There are other points as well, listed and explained nicely in John Gray’s book. Reading it was like viewing the same world in different perspectives. I like it when a girl understands me.
Honesty leads to trust. However, there are 2 types of honesty. One, reaction honesty, which is the approval seeking type and two, genuine honesty, where it is heartfelt and sincere. I like girls who are genuinely honest. I understand that sometimes it may be hard or she may be afraid to tell the truth because it may hurt or scare the person away.
more lies = more problems
Wouldn’t you rather be told the truth rather than be lied to? I would. I learned that in relationships, boundaries and rules will have to be set up from the start.
The saying below applies to honesty as well.
“Say what you do and do what you say”
Of course it applies to guys as well.
I like girls who are health conscious. I dare say health conscious girls are more attractive than those who aren’t. After all, a good physique is the FIRST thing that attracts a guy, even before getting to know a girl better. I’m attracted to women who exercise, eat right, sleeps well. I feel that being healthy makes a woman more energetic and confident. Resisting her may become an issue for me
I like girls who carry themselves well. I believe this attribute usually comes with well read and educated women. I find the kind, caring type more attractive than the gossiping, nagging, insulting, teasing and alienating type. I find girls who are modest, reserved but fun more attractive than the type that always tries to be the life and soul of the party.
I like girls who have a good sense of dressing. 3 reasons why.
Firstly, dressing well shows respect for others. I can imagine the frustration if I were to go for a date at a fine dining restaurant with a girl who looks like she’s just finished tuition class.
Second, dressing well promotes respect for herself.
Third, dressing well is part of being a woman. Just wearing whatever’s most comfortable isn’t really good enough to do well in the real world. For example, offices have dress codes. Clients have expectations. The kind where it requires the girl to put away the jeans and other college type of wears. And not knowing so will simply exhibit ‘immaturity’. If a woman dresses like a woman, she’d most likely be treated as a woman.
I like surprises too. A woman who surprises me just when I think I’m getting to know her is very exciting. I find mystery enticing and new at the same time. Keeping bits of information about herself can actually be beneficial. It’s like finding out that she can actually cook my favourite dish a month later or that she can play the piano well or she’s got talent in singing, etc.
Simple. I’m a dog person. I hate cats. This is probably due to the cat infestation back when I was in Multimedia University. The part I hate about cats most is when they walk under the table and unknowingly curl their fur around your legs.
It’s like talking with each other, rather than at each other. I like a girl who speaks well and have constructive things to say. She doesn’t necessarily have to have something in common for me to take interest in her but if I try to talk to her and she just stands there, I’m going to move on. I like a girl that pays attention to things, who can make me want to listen more.
Whether it’s talking, eating, hiking, playing sports, games, dancing, swimming, hanging out with my buddies, it’s only polite to join in. If she just sits there and watch she might as well wear a flashy sign that says ‘I’m a boring person who does not like fun!’ Of course it does not mean she should join in drinking or gambling if she’s not into those things.
I like it when a girl makes me feel confident. I think this is something that is pretty unexplainable. I think it’s something that comes with her character. I think it comes with trust-worthyness, reliability, adventureousness and determination.